Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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