I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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