so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
