So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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