You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We smell like vodka and hangover
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
