I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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