Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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