True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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