I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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