For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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