he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
