Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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