I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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