I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
