I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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