it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
