I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
