who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
