wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My vagina is officially offended.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
