ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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