he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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