I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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