My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
