i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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