I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
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