I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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