How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
