We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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