I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
