The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize