I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
