Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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