I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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