I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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