Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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