i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
