Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize