Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
