This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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