just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
