I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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