I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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