i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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