just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
