Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
