idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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