Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
