i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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