Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize