I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
