You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
