We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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