so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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