i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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