so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
