Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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