After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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