Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
