i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
