At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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